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Dating with Intention

3/1/2023

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Dating
Dating with intention means that you are not just looking for a casual fling or passing time with someone, but you have clear goals and expectations for your relationship. This approach can help you find a compatible partner who shares your values, interests, and long-term aspirations. In this blog, we will discuss some practical tips on how to date with intention.

1. Be clear about your intentions. The first step to dating with intention is to be clear about what you want from a relationship. Are you looking for a serious commitment, a casual dating experience, or just some companionship? Knowing your intentions will help you find a partner who is on the same page as you. It's essential to communicate your intentions clearly and honestly to avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings later on.

2. Define your values and deal-breakers. Another important aspect of dating with intention is knowing your values and deal-breakers. What are the core values that you hold dear, and what kind of behavior or traits would you not tolerate in a partner? Being clear about these things can help you identify potential red flags early on and avoid wasting your time on someone who doesn't align with your values and goals.

3. Take things slow. Dating with intention is not about rushing into a relationship. It's about taking the time to get to know someone and seeing if they meet your expectations and desires. Take things slow, spend time getting to know your partner, and don't rush into making any commitments until you're sure it's the right fit.

4. Have meaningful conversations. Having meaningful conversations is a great way to get to know someone on a deeper level. Ask questions that will help you understand their personality, interests, values, and goals. Discuss your past experiences and future aspirations to see if you're compatible in the long run.

5. Look for compatibility. When dating with intention, it's essential to look for compatibility in all areas of your life. Are you compatible intellectually, emotionally, and physically? Do you have similar values, interests, and life goals? It's important to look for someone who complements your personality and lifestyle.

6. Stay true to yourself. Dating with intention means being true to yourself and your values. Don't compromise on your principles or beliefs to please someone else. Be honest about your thoughts, feelings, and expectations. If your partner doesn't respect your boundaries or values, it may be time to move on.

Dating with intention is about being deliberate and purposeful in your search for a partner. By defining your intentions, values, and deal-breakers, taking things slow, having meaningful conversations, looking for compatibility, and staying true to yourself, you can increase your chances of finding a meaningful and fulfilling relationship. Good luck on your journey!
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Love Languages

2/1/2023

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Love Languages
Do you ever feel like your partner just doesn't understand you or vice versa? Chances are, the problem could be a mismatch in your "love languages."

What are Love Languages?
Love languages are a concept developed by Gary Chapman in his book "The 5 Love Languages." It suggests that everyone has a preferred way of receiving and expressing love, and understanding your own love language and that of your partner can greatly improve your relationship.

The 5 Love Languages are:
  1. Words of Affirmation: Expressing love through verbal affirmations, compliments, and encouraging words.
  2. Acts of Service: Expressing love through acts of service, such as doing household chores or running errands.
  3. Receiving Gifts: Expressing love through the giving of gifts, both big and small.
  4. Quality Time: Expressing love through undivided attention and spending quality time together.
  5. Physical Touch: Expressing love through physical touch, such as hugs, holding hands, or cuddling.

​How to Discover Your Love Language:

To discover your love language, consider how you best feel loved and appreciated. What do your partner's actions or words make you feel the most loved? You can also take the love language quiz on Chapman's website. Improving Relationships through Love Languages
Once you've discovered your love language and that of your partner, you can use this information to improve your relationship. By speaking your partner's love language, you can show them love in a way that they truly understand and feel appreciated. For example, if your love language is quality time, but your partner's love language is physical touch, try to spend more quality time with them while also being more affectionate. This will show them that you care and understand their love language. Understanding and speaking each other's love languages can greatly enhance your relationship and bring you closer together. Make an effort to discover and speak your partner's love language, and watch your relationship flourish.
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Cultivating trust

1/1/2023

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cultivating trust
Self-trust is an essential aspect of our lives. It is the foundation upon which we build our confidence, resilience, and self-esteem. It is the belief in our abilities and the trust in our decisions that allows us to move forward with certainty, even in the face of adversity. However, building self-trust is not always easy. It takes time, effort, and dedication to develop and maintain. Here are some steps you can take to build self-trust:
  1. Acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses. Take an honest inventory of your skills and areas in which you excel. Also, take note of your weaknesses and areas where you need improvement. Accepting both your strengths and weaknesses is an important step in building self-trust because it helps you understand your limitations and work on them.
  2. Set achievable goals. Setting goals and working towards them is a great way to build self-trust. Start by setting small, achievable goals and then gradually work your way up to bigger ones. Celebrate your successes along the way, and use them as motivation to continue working towards your goals.
  3. Take responsibility for your actions. Accepting responsibility for your actions and decisions is a key component of self-trust. It means acknowledging the impact of your choices and being accountable for the outcomes. When you take responsibility for your actions, you build trust in yourself and your abilities.
  4. Practice self-compassion. Self-compassion involves treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and empathy, just as you would with a friend. This means not being too hard on yourself when things don't go as planned and recognizing that everyone makes mistakes. By practicing self-compassion, you can build self-trust and confidence in your abilities.
  5. Surround yourself with supportive people. Surrounding yourself with people who support and encourage you is essential for building self-trust. Seek out individuals who believe in you and your abilities, and who are willing to help you grow and develop. Being around positive, supportive people can help boost your confidence and self-esteem.
Building self-trust is a journey, not a destination. It takes time and effort, but it is worth it. When you have self-trust, you feel more empowered and confident in your abilities, and you are better able to handle the challenges that come your way. Start building your self-trust today and watch as your confidence and self-esteem grow stronger each day.
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Managing Transitions and endings

12/1/2022

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managing transitions/endings
Transitions and endings can be both exciting and challenging, whether it's changing jobs, moving to a new city, ending a relationship or starting a new chapter in life. While change can bring new opportunities and growth, it can also bring uncertainty and fear of the unknown. However, with the right mindset and tools, you can make transitions and endings a positive experience.
Here are some tips to help you manage transitions and endings smoothly:
  1. Acknowledge your feelings: Change can bring up a range of emotions, and it's important to allow yourself to feel and process them. Take time to reflect on what you are feeling and why. It's okay to feel sad, scared, or uncertain, and acknowledging these feelings can help you move forward.
  2. Make a plan: Having a plan in place can help you feel more in control and confident during transitions. This can include setting goals, creating a timeline, or identifying the steps you need to take to reach your desired outcome.
  3. Seek support: Transitions and endings can be challenging, and having a supportive network of friends, family, or a therapist can help you get through them. Talking about your experiences and feelings can help you process them and find solutions to any challenges you may face.
  4. Focus on what you can control: During transitions, it's easy to get caught up in what you can't control. Instead, focus on what you can control, such as your attitude, effort, and actions. Taking control of what you can can help you feel more empowered and less overwhelmed.
  5. Embrace the opportunity: Transitions and endings can also bring new opportunities and growth. Look for the positive aspects of change and embrace the chance to learn and grow.
  6. Take care of yourself: Change can be stressful, and it's important to take care of yourself during this time. This can include eating a balanced diet, exercising, getting enough sleep, and engaging in activities that bring you joy.
Transitions and endings can be difficult, but with the right mindset and tools, you can make them a positive experience. Acknowledge your feelings, make a plan, seek support, focus on what you can control, embrace the opportunity, and take care of yourself. Remember that change is a natural part of life and can bring new opportunities and growth.
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Authentic Gratitude

11/1/2022

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Authentic Gratitude
Gratitude is one of the most powerful emotions we can experience, and it has been shown to have a profound impact on our mental, physical, and emotional well-being. However, not all gratitude is created equal, and the way in which we express it can make all the difference in terms of its effectiveness. In this blog, we'll explore what authentic gratitude is and how it can enhance our lives. Authentic gratitude is a genuine appreciation for the good things in our lives, regardless of our circumstances. It is a heartfelt, intentional, and honest recognition of the blessings and gifts we have received, and a sincere expression of thanks for them. Authentic gratitude is not simply a rote repetition of thank-you's or an empty recognition of the good things in our lives. Instead, it is a deep, soul-level appreciation that touches us in a profound way.
The Benefits of Authentic Gratitude include:
  1. Improved Mental Health: Authentic gratitude has been shown to have a significant impact on our mental health, reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety and increasing feelings of happiness and well-being.
  2. Enhanced Relationships: Authentic gratitude also helps to strengthen our relationships, as it allows us to appreciate the positive aspects of our interactions with others, and to show our appreciation for their contributions to our lives.
  3. Increased Resilience: Authentic gratitude also enhances our resilience in the face of life's challenges. It helps us to maintain a positive outlook, even in difficult circumstances, and to find meaning and purpose in our struggles.
  4. Greater Life Satisfaction: Authentic gratitude has been linked to greater life satisfaction, as it helps us to focus on the good things in our lives, and to appreciate what we have, rather than what we lack.
How to Cultivate Authentic Gratitude
  1. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness is a powerful tool for cultivating authentic gratitude. By focusing on the present moment, we can gain a deeper appreciation for the good things in our lives, and develop a more intentional gratitude practice.
  2. Express Your Gratitude: Take the time to express your gratitude to others, whether through verbal expressions of thanks, handwritten notes, or acts of kindness.
  3. Keep a Gratitude Journal: Writing down the things you are grateful for each day can help you to cultivate a more intentional gratitude practice, and to reflect on the good things in your life.
  4. Reframe Your Thoughts: Make an effort to reframe negative thoughts and focus on the positive aspects of your life. This can help you to cultivate a more positive outlook, and to increase your feelings of gratitude.
Authentic gratitude is a powerful tool for enhancing our mental, physical, and emotional well-being. By taking the time to cultivate this powerful emotion, we can find greater meaning and purpose in our lives, and enjoy a more fulfilling and satisfying existence.


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Redefining Healing

10/1/2022

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Healing is a concept that has been around for centuries, with its meaning and methods evolving over time. Traditionally, healing was seen as a way to cure physical illnesses or injuries through medical treatments, such as medications or surgeries. However, in recent years, there has been a shift towards redefining healing beyond just physical health and into a more holistic approach that includes mental, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing.

The holistic approach to healing acknowledges the interconnectedness of the mind, body, and spirit, and how they all contribute to overall wellbeing. This approach recognizes that mental and emotional factors can have a significant impact on physical health and vice versa. As a result, healing is no longer just about treating symptoms, but rather about addressing the root causes of illness or disease.

One way to redefine healing is to incorporate complementary and alternative therapies, such as acupuncture, yoga, and meditation, alongside conventional medical treatments. These therapies can help to reduce stress, anxiety, and pain, while also promoting overall wellbeing. They can also help to address underlying emotional or mental issues that may be contributing to physical health problems.

Another way to redefine healing is to focus on preventative measures rather than just treating illness. This involves taking steps to maintain good health and prevent disease from occurring in the first place. This can include things like eating a healthy diet, getting regular exercise, practicing stress-reducing techniques, and avoiding harmful habits such as smoking or excessive alcohol consumption.

Furthermore, the redefinition of healing should also include addressing the social and environmental factors that can impact health. For example, poverty, lack of access to healthcare, and exposure to environmental toxins can all contribute to poor health outcomes. By addressing these factors, healing can be seen as a collective effort, rather than an individual one.

Ultimately, the redefinition of healing requires a shift in mindset, from viewing health as something that can be fixed with a pill or surgery, to understanding that true healing involves a holistic approach that addresses the mind, body, and spirit. It also requires a shift in the way we think about healthcare, from a reactive approach to one that is proactive and focused on prevention.
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Redefining healing is about recognizing that true health and wellbeing require a holistic approach that addresses physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs. By incorporating complementary and alternative therapies, focusing on preventative measures, and addressing social and environmental factors, we can create a more inclusive and effective approach to healing that benefits everyone.
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Boundaries

9/1/2022

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Boundaries are an important aspect of our lives that are often overlooked. They define the limits of what we are willing to accept, both in terms of how we treat ourselves and how others treat us. Without boundaries, we may find ourselves feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or taken advantage of. In this blog post, we will explore the concept of boundaries and their importance in our lives.

What are Boundaries?
Boundaries are limits we set for ourselves and for others. They define what is acceptable and what is not, and they help us to create a sense of safety and security in our lives. Boundaries can be physical, emotional, mental, or even spiritual. They are unique to each individual and may change depending on the situation.

Types of Boundaries:
  1. Physical boundaries: These boundaries refer to the limits we set on our personal space and physical contact with others.
  2. Emotional boundaries: Emotional boundaries refer to the limits we set on our emotions and feelings, and how much we are willing to share with others.
  3. Mental boundaries: Mental boundaries refer to the limits we set on our thoughts and beliefs, and how much we are willing to share with others.
  4. Spiritual boundaries: Spiritual boundaries refer to the limits we set on our spiritual beliefs and practices, and how much we are willing to share with others.

Why Boundaries are so important:
  1. Protection: Boundaries protect us from harm, whether it is physical, emotional, or mental. They help us to create a sense of safety and security in our lives.
  2. Self-respect: Boundaries help us to respect ourselves and our needs. They allow us to prioritize our own well-being and set healthy limits for ourselves.
  3. Healthy relationships: Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships. They help us to communicate our needs and expectations to others, and they allow us to maintain our sense of self in relationships.
  4. Stress reduction: Boundaries can help to reduce stress and anxiety in our lives. They allow us to focus on what is important and reduce the impact of outside stressors.

Tips for setting boundaries:
  1. Identify your needs: Take some time to reflect on your needs and priorities. What is important to you? What are your values?
  2. Communicate clearly: When setting boundaries, it is important to communicate clearly with others. Be direct and specific about what you are comfortable with and what you are not.
  3. Be firm: It is essential to be firm in your boundaries. Don't waver or allow others to persuade you to compromise your needs.
  4. Practice self-care: Self-care is an essential part of setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. Take time to care for yourself and prioritize your own well-being.

Boundaries are an essential part of our lives. They help us to create a sense of safety and security, prioritize our own well-being, and maintain healthy relationships. Setting and maintaining boundaries can be challenging, but it is an important aspect of self-care and personal growth. By understanding the importance of boundaries and practicing healthy boundary-setting habits, you can create a more fulfilling and balanced life.
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How to make connections and build friendships

7/1/2022

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Human beings are social creatures, and forming connections with others is essential for our well-being. Building friendships can be a rewarding experience, but it can also be challenging, especially for those who are shy or introverted. In this blog, we will explore some tips on how to make connections with other people and build meaningful friendships.
  1. Show interest in others
People love to talk about themselves and share their interests and experiences. To make connections with others, start by showing genuine interest in them. Ask them questions about their hobbies, work, or experiences, and actively listen to their responses. This will help you to get to know them better, and they will appreciate your interest in them.
  1. Be open and approachable
To make connections with others, you need to be open and approachable. Smile, make eye contact, and be friendly. This will help others feel comfortable around you and more likely to approach you. You can also initiate conversations with others by commenting on something you have in common or asking for their opinion on a topic.
  1. Join clubs or groups
Joining clubs or groups is a great way to meet like-minded people who share your interests. Whether it's a sports team, book club, or volunteering group, being a part of a community can help you make connections and build meaningful friendships. These groups offer a safe and comfortable space to meet new people and develop relationships.
  1. Participate in social activities
Participating in social activities such as parties, picnics, and game nights can help you meet new people and build connections. It's an opportunity to have fun, relax, and engage in casual conversations. By being open to new experiences and social events, you can expand your social circle and form new friendships.
  1. Be reliable and supportive
Friendships are built on trust, reliability, and support. Be someone who follows through on their commitments, listens to others, and offers help when needed. This will help you establish a positive reputation and build trust with others. When you show that you're a reliable and supportive friend, others are more likely to reciprocate and form stronger connections with you.
  1. Embrace vulnerability
Building friendships requires a certain level of vulnerability. It's important to be honest and open about your feelings and experiences, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. This can help others see the real you and form a deeper connection with you. Vulnerability can also help to build trust and create a safe space for others to open up to you.
Making connections with others and building friendships requires effort, but it's an essential part of our lives. By showing interest in others, being open and approachable, joining clubs or groups, participating in social activities, being reliable and supportive, and embracing vulnerability, you can form meaningful connections with others and build long-lasting friendships.
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How to have a weekend you feel good about

3/2/2021

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I hear often from people who work full time that they cannot wait for the weekends. However, once the weekends come along, they can end up feeling just as stressed and busy as the weekdays, leaving many feeling tired and ‘behind’ come Monday morning. Because our western culture is so work-oriented and work-focused, many can feel that the weekends are their only time to see friends, run errands, have family time, and catch up on all they did not get done during the week. What a tall order for a two-day weekend! I want to talk about how to go into the weekend with intention, and how to have a weekend that feels both relaxing and filling. 
The number one problem I see people creating for their weekends is overbooking or over-scheduling themselves. This can be all too common because of the shared feeling that the weekend is the only time to do it all- thus leading to many different events, social obligations or chores booked for both Saturday and Sunday. This overbooking can lead to the feeling that there is just as much of a schedule to follow on the weekend as there is during the week, not leaving space for spontaneity, calm, flexibility or time without obligations to fulfill. 
The first step to having a weekend that feels good is to be aware of what you have scheduled and whether or not that feels doable for you. Everyone is different, and some may love having a jam-packed social schedule of things to do, while others prefer only one thing scheduled so as not to feel overwhelmed. Think about what works best for you and then take a look at your weekend. Ask yourself the following: Does it feel overbooked? Is it overwhelming to think about all the things I have planned this weekend? Is there any time to lay down, relax, hang out or meditate? How do I imagine I may feel come Monday with this schedule?
The next step to having a weekend that feels good is to consciously create time for self-care and/or self-reflection. This can look like a whole night or day with no plans, or it could even be an hour or two in the morning or before bed on one weekend day. So often we are go-go and do not take the time to pause, breath, and check in with how we are doing or what we need. Our nervous system needs a break from stress, to-dos, and the constant chatter in our head. Self-care can look different for everyone. Here are some examples of what self-care on the weekends could look like: drinking coffee with no distractions, creating time for a ten-minute mediation, a mindful walk with no phone, a long shower, a manicure, picking up that book you’ve been wanting to read, cooking a healthy meal for yourself or your family. There are so many ways we can tend to ourselves and check in, and making sure to do at least 1-2 self-care acts a weekend is crucial to feeling revived and energized come Monday. 
Lastly, distinguish between what we need to do, and what we want to do. There may be a lot you want to get done or accomplished during the weekend, but are there things that can wait? When we don’t take the time to ask ourselves what can wait and what can't, it can often feel like we have to get everything done over the weekend- contributing to feelings of anxiety, stress, pressure and limited time. In order to alleviate these feelings, look at the tasks you put down for the weekend and take time after each one to ask- “does this need to get done this weekend, or can it wait?” The act of doing this is intentional and allows you to be more aware and mindful of how you want to spend your time. 
Time to feel relaxed, time without plans, and time to take care of ourselves is all crucial to mental wellbeing. The weekend, or any time off work, can be the chance to have some space from the rigidity and hectic nature many of us experience during the workdays. Be intentional about the weekends, and make sure that you are taking the time to think about what would make you feel filled up, energized and joyful after the weekend.

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Celebrating Valentine's Day Single

2/14/2021

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Valentine’s Day can be a hard day if you are single, or recently single, as it is recognized in Western culture as the celebration of love between couples. We are exposed to the marketing and ads around Valentine’s Day sometimes months before- which can make it overwhelming and upsetting if you are also navigating the loss of a relationship and also seeing candy, hearts and commercials all over. But I want to share that Valentine’s Day is not just for couples. It originated as a day to celebrate love, and this can mean love for friends, family, and also love for ourselves. Part of being able to successfully celebrate Valentine’s Day while single is to reframe what it has meant. It can be a day about love- not a day about love with a partner. 
With this new framework in mind, here are some ways that you can celebrate this day of love in a way that feels fulfilling. 

1. Buy Valentine’s Day cards and send them to your three closest friends.
You don’t have to feel intimidated to walk down the card aisle or feel like you can’t buy something Valentine’s Day related just because you are not with a romantic partner. Pick out a few cards you love and write a note to your closest friends. Pouring time and energy into our friendships makes them feel closer and more fulfilling. This act will remind you of the close connections you have and will foster that connection. 


2. Engage in self-love throughout the day.
What is self-love anyways? We hear about it all the time, but what can it look like in practice? Self-love can look like really being gentle and tuning into your own needs. With this in mind, spend the day getting in touch with what you need. Self-love may mean shutting your phone off, it may mean calling a friend. It could look like being aware of harsh self-talk and choosing kindness with yourself. Spend the day engaged and aware of attuning to your own needs. 


3. Spend the night cooking or ordering food with a friend.
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It may feel important to stay connected on Valentine’s Day. Maybe you have a friend or a family member who isn’t celebrating with a partner or who doesn’t currently have a romantic partner. Call that person and plan a night where you either cook something, or order food in. Both put your phones away and focus on having fun with one another, being present, and connecting. Maybe you watch a funny movie or play a board game or go on a long walk. Whatever it is, be present for it and enjoy it! 


Valentine’s Day is not just for couples. You can enjoy the day if you are single. If you find yourself being triggered by certain posts, TV shows, movies or social media- unplug from them! Give yourself permission to take a step back from the things that trigger you and re-focus on what you are wanting and needing in that moment. Choose to see Valentine’s Day as a day to show love to yourself and the people in your life, not just a day for partners. Be aware of the shift that this frame of thinking may have for you!
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