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3 first STEPS TO QUICKSTART HEALING POST BREAKUP

8/11/2020

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When the pain is so fresh from a breakup, it is normal to be reaching for anything that can help us to feel better. However, we often tend to reach for something that causes us to feel more pain- whether that be stalking an ex on social media because we miss them, turning to unhealthy foods or substances to numb out, and/or completely isolating ourselves in order to cope with hard feelings. If you have done (or are) doing these things, this is common and it makes sense. We do what we feel we know how to do in order to cope with hard feelings that we are forced to confront after such a big loss in our lives. If you are coping in ways similar to the examples above, I want to provide you with three quick, helpful steps that can point you in the direction of starting to move forward after a breakup.
 
1.Delete social media for 60 days
 
Social media can be extremely toxic after a relationship. It can be a place where we spend large quantities of time on trying to see what our ex is doing, who they are hanging out with and trying to get any clue into how they might be feeling. Almost always we do not find what we are hoping to find. People often do not show their authentic self on social media- so we do not get to truly see their inner thoughts, their day-to-day or how they are coping with certain emotions. Spending time on social media can bring up more negative thoughts and actually contributes to spending more time consumed by your ex and the past instead of focusing inward in order to feel better. A sixty-day hiatus from all social media platforms has been shown to be effective in allowing more time to reflect and do things for you, instead of spending energy focused outward and consumed by negative thoughts and feelings about your breakup.
 
2.Commit to a new self-care habit for one month
 
Studies show that implementing a new habit takes some time to do. Whenever we are trying to heal or move forward from any hard feelings, it is so important to get in touch with certain activities that make us feel better. This could be things such as a workout, tea at night before bed, walking outside more often, creating a playlist you like and listening when you are sad, etc. Big or small, it is important to start to understand what kinds of things help us to feel more grounded and then begin to do them more regularly. Pick one thing that does this for you and commit to doing it for a month. Not only will it allow you to be intentional about moving forward, but if you can do it consistently for a month it may become a habit that you continue even once you start to feel better. If we want to feel better, we need to change the things that we do daily in order to start that process.
 
3.Call a therapist
 
There is a reason that therapy is becoming more normalized and less stigmatized in the recent years. It can be really difficult and feel scary to take that first step and find a therapist if you have never done it before, but it can be a powerful and profound space that is just for you. It is a place where you can talk about whatever feels present with someone who has the education, knowledge and experience to guide you through tough feelings and help you navigate the heaviness of a breakup. We cannot do things alone and it is okay to reach out for help when we are struggling. Finding a therapist that is a good fit can be a great step towards feeling both supported and connected during a tough time in life.
2 Comments
Sheila Donnell
11/12/2020 04:48:13 pm

My purpose out here today is to share this article to the world about how Doctor Odunga helped me in getting back my EX-boyfriend that broke up with me 4 months ago. I tried all i can to make him see reasons with me so that we can continue our relationship but he denied me. Thank God for giving me the thought of going into the internet for help, i searched properly and i saw different reviews of Doctor Odunga and i insisted in giving it a try by contacting him via what's app on (+2348167159012). He gave me reason to live again and he prepared a spell and told me that my Ex-boyfriend will come back to me within 28 hours. Can you believe it, my EX-boyfriend came back to me and our wedding will hold Soon. Contact him now!!! if you need any help. Email: odungaspelltemple@gmail.com and he does a lot of spells. Once again i want to say am very grateful for your help

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Naomi Cole
1/2/2021 04:37:47 pm

My husband and I were separated for a year and two months. I want to reconcile but he doesn’t seem to want it. He doesn’t answer my text, emails, or phone calls. I don’t know if I should go up there and try to talk to him again or just give him what he wants: divorce. Like I said I don’t want that and I’ve prayed and tried to reconcile but nothing from him just silence. Since I left he has been arrested, doing drugs and looking at porn. There was also evidence that he might be doing more. I found condoms, blood on his sheets, and found what looks like sex toys! I have also seen on his bank statement that he spent money at a sex store. What do I do??? Some people tell me to get rid of him and others tell me to pray for a miracle but how long do I wait for him to tell me. It takes two to do the tango and he won’t even come to the dance floor. I almost started thinking I made the mistake of marrying someone I was unequally yoked to but I don't want to make another mistake either, so I have been very hopeful until I was introduced to Dr Ozigidon, a powerful spell caster who ends all these problems within a few days. Thanks to Dr Ozigidon for his unforgettable powerful spell. Reach out to him for whatever you may desire to make you happy.. Email; drozigidonhenz.spell.net@gmail.com whatsapp +2349054750112. Dr Ozigidon, I will forever be grateful. I bless the day I contacted this great man.

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