Acceptance for closure

Closure is such a universal part of every breakup. Most people find comfort in understanding and making sense of a loss. But what if you weren’t in control of your breakup or even agree with it? It makes healing and moving on even more difficult than it has to be. Today, we’d like to talk about an element of closure that can help you gain a sense of control because it is something you’re completely in charge of: Acceptance. In this sense, acceptance does not mean you approve or agree with what’s happened, it simply means you’re going to stop fighting the reality of what is. In acceptance, we surrender to the facts even if we do not like them. We stop engaging in what if’s, we stop thoughts about what could have been and replace them with that is. 
Here are some examples of phrases that emphasize acceptance:

• I accept that I don’t have any communication with my ex even though I don’t understand it.
• I really wanted to work things out, but I accept the reality that my ex chose to move in a different direction.
• I’m going to let go of my anger about the situation by accepting it as a fact.

​I understand that this exercise might feel a bit cold to some people. You might be wondering, what if I don’t want to let go and accept? It’s not that we don’t hold compassion for the grief that comes with breakups, but in acceptance we focus on what is within our control and work towards healing. Acceptance gives us a break from being stuck in difficult emotions and frees us from exhausting mental work that comes with resisting the facts. When we whole-heartedly practice acceptance, we give ourselves the gift of closure even if we have felt completely powerless in our breakup process.