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Can you be friends with your ex?

2/20/2020

2 Comments

 
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After a breakup, it can be common to ask yourself the question “can I be friends with my ex?” Oftentimes, we may not know how to comprehend not having someone in our life who once played such a large and crucial part in it. If you are out of a breakup and thinking about wanting to have a friendship with your ex, here are some things to consider. 

1. Am I worried about losing this person?

Is the motivation to be friends with your ex coming out of a fear of losing this person altogether? Acting from a place of fear is never helpful, and often will leave us anxious and not aligned with our true self and needs. If being friends with this person is motivated by not wanting to say goodbye, it may be important to do some reflecting on what this fear is and how it can be healed outside of having a friendship with your ex. 

2. Are my romantic feelings gone?

Once we are romantically involved with someone, it can be very confusing to detach from that part of the relationship and have a friendship not based around a romantic nature. It is important to understand that when we date someone and have a sexual relationship with them, our brain actually is wired differently and can become deeply attached to this person. Moving from being someone’s romantic partner to their friend is not always black and white, and it can be important to ask yourself if you are still having romantic feelings towards this person. Do you still feel attached to them? Do you still want a physical connection with them? If the answer is yes, it can make it harder to move to a friendship. 

3. How will I feel if this person starts dating someone else?

Friends are people we can go to for advice and support in our life, and we often turn to friends when it comes to dating advice. If you are thinking about being friends with your ex, think about what it may feel like if that person were to start dating again. Would you feel okay with giving them advice or listening to them talk about having feelings for someone else? If we are wanting to be friends with our ex, that means being able to show up for them as you would any other close friend, so considering what you may feel if they begin to like someone else can be important to think about. 

​4. Would this friendship need boundaries?

Given that you have a history of romantic relations with your ex, this would be a friendship that may need to have different boundaries than other friendships in your life. Thinking about what those boundaries would be, how you would enforce them, and how they might feel for you all are things to think about, and be able to dialogue about with your ex should you two choose to continue a friendship together.

There is no black and white answer to the question of whether it is possible to be friends with an ex. Some people are able to do this, and for others it can be much more difficult, or not possible at all. Asking yourself the above questions and intentionally giving this relationship thought and effort is an important step in the process should you choose to try and purse a continued relationship after the end of a romantic one.
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2 Comments
Sheila Donnell
11/12/2020 04:56:26 pm

My purpose out here today is to share this article to the world about how Doctor Odunga helped me in getting back my EX-boyfriend that broke up with me 4 months ago. I tried all i can to make him see reasons with me so that we can continue our relationship but he denied me. Thank God for giving me the thought of going into the internet for help, i searched properly and i saw different reviews of Doctor Odunga and i insisted in giving it a try by contacting him via what's app on (+2348167159012). He gave me reason to live again and he prepared a spell and told me that my Ex-boyfriend will come back to me within 28 hours. Can you believe it, my EX-boyfriend came back to me and our wedding will hold Soon. Contact him now!!! if you need any help. Email: odungaspelltemple@gmail.com and he does a lot of spells. Once again i want to say am very grateful for your help

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Naomi Cole
1/2/2021 04:40:05 pm

My husband and I were separated for a year and two months. I want to reconcile but he doesn’t seem to want it. He doesn’t answer my text, emails, or phone calls. I don’t know if I should go up there and try to talk to him again or just give him what he wants: divorce. Like I said I don’t want that and I’ve prayed and tried to reconcile but nothing from him just silence. Since I left he has been arrested, doing drugs and looking at porn. There was also evidence that he might be doing more. I found condoms, blood on his sheets, and found what looks like sex toys! I have also seen on his bank statement that he spent money at a sex store. What do I do??? Some people tell me to get rid of him and others tell me to pray for a miracle but how long do I wait for him to tell me. It takes two to do the tango and he won’t even come to the dance floor. I almost started thinking I made the mistake of marrying someone I was unequally yoked to but I don't want to make another mistake either, so I have been very hopeful until I was introduced to Dr Ozigidon, a powerful spell caster who ends all these problems within a few days. Thanks to Dr Ozigidon for his unforgettable powerful spell. Reach out to him for whatever you may desire to make you happy.. Email; drozigidonhenz.spell.net@gmail.com whatsapp +2349054750112. Dr Ozigidon, I will forever be grateful. I bless the day I contacted this great man.

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