When we think of Valentine’s Day, we think of romance, flowers, chocolates and fancy dinner reservations. For most people, the last thing they associate the holiday with is breakups. However, more breakups happen the Tuesday before Valentine’s Day, now dubbed Red Tuesday, than any other day of the year, and the weeks following Valentine’s day see the highest rates of breakups than any other time of year.
Breakups are never fun but when you see why this is the case, you may agree with us that this phenomenon isn’t as tragic as it sounds. Before you start thinking that Valentine’s Day itself is a curse on relationships, let’s examine the reasons why these breakups happen.
1. Most breakups happen before or after a significant holiday or anniversary. For people who are thinking about ending their relationship, it’s simply a calendar marker for when it might happen. The question becomes, do you try to enjoy the holiday with your partner one last time or spare having to purchase a gift and make plans? These significant dates make think about if they want to spend another holiday in this relationship if they are truly unhappy.
2. Especially in the era of social media, our relationship is scrutinized in comparison to other relationships. It’s easy to start believing other people are happier and more in love, are more admired by their partners or simply in relationship that’s better than yours. Although it’s not fair to judge your relationship based on the size of (or lack of) floral arrangements you receive on February 14th, if you’ve been feeling neglected and unhappy for a while, you may start thinking about if your relationship holds enough for you.
3. The day is primed for testing if your partner measures up. Whether it’s your favorite holiday or say you don’t care for it at all, it’s an opportunity to notice how significant your relationship is to your partner and how much effort they put into it. It’s not about how much is spent, but rather the attention and effort you get.
4. Under pressure, you may start analyzing all the things that are not working in your relationship. There’s so much artificial and unnecessary pressure for Valentine’s Day to feel perfectly romantic, there are few who are left truly satisfied on this evening as it is. Additionally, if you’re already unhappy with the dynamic in your relationship, the pressure could cause it to boil over.
You’ll notice in all of these situations that a breakup was probably impending and possibly inevitable. Breakups aren’t necessarily a bad thing, more often than not it means the end of a relationship that wasn’t working in one or more essential ways. There it’s anything about Valentine’s Day that causes breakups, instead it influences people to examine their relationships and their level of satisfaction within it. For relationships that aren’t working for one or more partners, the unique properties of Valentine’s Day makes them notice and respond to those cracks in a way they may have been avoiding.